We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Randomize
