we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Randomize
