if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
