i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
