return my video game
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
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