Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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