Define "chronic" masturbator.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
