actually, I'm a sock model
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Randomize