id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Sorry about my life...
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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