hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
