Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize