remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Randomize