wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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