You really coming over, don't trick.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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