no, he came in my armpit
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
should my penis look like a turkey
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
