have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize