party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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