Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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