drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
