Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
