I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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