Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
