My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
