I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
