I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
