Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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