you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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