I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
she told me i tasted like america
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
