she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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