Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
What a fucking waste of an outfit
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
