Can Purell be used as lube?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
