:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
