im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
