I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Randomize
