Who did Billy Mays play for?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
