am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
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He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
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Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
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