Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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