didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Randomize
