The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
