Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
