a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Randomize
