The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
