I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
