Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
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