i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
