her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
