somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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