Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
now i know why i became what i already was.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
