sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
