What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I would fuck him just for his dog
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize