I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize