thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
