Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize