He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
