cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My bed smells like the plague
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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