...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Randomize
