I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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