i think my mom watched the whole time
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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