we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
