Dignity is for republicans.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
