my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
