Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
