i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
