'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Randomize