You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
